Seven Oclock News
by Kalivax
Summary: Naruto, Shino and Shikamaru are best friends who lead boring normal lives, well, except for the famous bishonen with major crushes on Naruto, not to mention that one of their friends is a secret agent and one's a undercover jpop singer. AU, yaoi, Updated!
1. The high spirited boy

Kalivax: Ohayo! Kalivax back at ya with a brand new story that I wrote at work. It's based on a dream I had, and interestingly enough, the more I write the fic, the more different it is from my dream. Yeah, this used to be OC/Elijah Wood, when I went through my whole L.O.T.R. (Mr. Tolkien's fantastic work, not mine.) and my Mary Sue phase, (weird thing is they both occurred at once...). Anyhoo, I hope ya'll like this. It's my usual shonen-ai, and, just for clarification, Jiraiya and Iruka are cousins. Got it? Read my lips: c-o-u-s-i-n-s. I am Kaka/Iru all the way and (in this fic, at least) they're together. No, in the real thing Iruka and Jiraiya are not cousins... it'd be considerably weirder for poor Iruka if that was the case...so, um, on with the fic!

Disclaimer: You potheads, it's common knowledge. I don't own Naruto—believe me, if I did, it would be in Be-Boy and the rating would be M (Sparklies for anyone who knows what I'm getting at!). Mwahahahaha! -cough- I think I'll just go now...

(by the way: thanx to Tomomi who beta-edited this for me!)

* * *

7 O' Clock News

by: Kalivax

(The Wondrous Shonen-ai Shinobi)

Uzumaki Naruto glared at his two uncles. "No," he stated immediately, anger significant in his eyes—hard baby blues.

"But, Naa-chan, they're Iruka's friends," his uncle Jiraiya explained from across the dinner table.

"Oh? In that case," Naruto paused and thoughtfully slurped some ramen, "OK."

"Wait, what's the matter with _my_ friends?" Jiraiya questioned, brow furrowing. He pushed his ramen aside.

Naruto resumed glaring.

Iruka wisely decided to cut in. "They'll be coming tomorrow," Iruka said hastily.

"Really? Who are they?" Naruto prompted, forgetting his ill will toward his other guardian, for the moment at least.

"They're just some friends," Iruka answered, blushing slightly, clearly hiding something. "They'll be bringing some people."

"People?" Naruto repeated, curious.

"Yes, people. They'll be staying for two weeks. I know the saying 'Guests and fish go bad in three days'—but, we all used to live together—the people visiting, I mean—and—" Iruka began ranting and Naruto was about to say something when Jiraiya cut in: "His old college buddy Kakashi. Oh, and that weirdo, Gai."

Realization hit Naruto quickly.

"You don't mean—" Naruto began.

"—Yes, the famous talent managers," Iruka finished and sighed. He leaned into his seat, preparing for the awaiting questions.

"Wait—you actually know them? Since when?" Naruto inquired, still a bit skeptical.

"Since college. Haven't you a heard a word he said, brat?" Jiraiya asked in reply, rolling his eyes, and then also looked thoughtful, "In fact, they were at your kindergarten graduation."

"Really? Huh. I don't remember them at all. Still," Naruto shrugged, "whatever. So, who're the people they're bringing?"

Naruto's two uncles exchanged glances. Naruto was so oblivious sometimes. Ah well, sometimes (like this) it was a good thing.

"It's nothing, Naa-chan," Jiraiya replied, shaking his head in amazement, then he smiled. "Now Naa-chan, I—"

"No way, you old fart! You think I didn't notice the dress on the couch(1)! Get away from me!" Naruto screeched, jumping out of his chair and dashing over to Iruka to hide behind his back. "Iruka! Stop him!"

Iruka looked over his shoulder at the scowling boy and then at his cousin, who was now advancing toward their nephew as if he were a cat and Naruto a mouse. "Jiraiya," he growled, warningly.

Jiraiya stopped his advances and stomped his foot rather childishly. "It's for his cousin—Shelby! She's the same size and it needs to be fitted—"

Iruka's stare turned icy cold.

"I have no cousin named Shelby!" Naruto pointed out, clinging to Iruka.

Jiraiya hmph'ed and, with an annoyed expression on his face, went back to his dinner. Naruto, paranoid, still held onto Iruka, anger rising. Iruka sweat-dropped when Naruto used him as a human shield when Jiraiya reached for another pair of chopsticks next to Naruto, clearly egging him on.

_Please Kami-sama, don't let them act like this when they arrive_, he silently begged, eyes heavenward…

-----

Sunlight streamed through the cracks in-between the dirty white blinds of the window. It splashed its rays into Naruto's eyes and he blinked slowly. Rubbing his eye with one hand and yawning into the other, Naruto cast an eye at the clock.

"Nine o'clock! Kuso! School starts in twenty minutes!" Naruto glared at the clock as if it was its fault. "I can't be tardy again! If I do I'll get detention for two weeks!"

Faster than a speeding bullet, he rinsed his eyes out in the bathroom and dressed in his usual black t-shirt and baggy jeans. Running (and almost tripping) down the stairs, Naruto ran a comb through his hair and grabbed his waiting bento and backpack.

"Iruka! Why didn't you wake me!" he screamed as he ran to find his other shoe.

"I told Jiraiya to!" Iruka answered from outside in the garden.

"You locked your door! How was I supposed to wake you? I couldn't come in!" Jiraiya bellowed from his room upstairs.

"It's called knocking!" Naruto shouted, then glanced at his watch. Ten minutes left—the bus was already long gone and his school was thirty miles away. "Never mind! Bye!" he called and raced out the door, bento and pack in one hand.

He ran for about five minutes when he slammed into someone. That someone was coming out of the local bakery Iruka usually bought Naruto's birthday cake from.

"Watch where you're going!" he boomed and got up, looking fearfully at his watch. "Seven minutes! I'm dead!"

"Tch, idiot, you're the one who ran into me," the other muttered, still on the ground.

Naruto was about to punch the other guy further into the ground when he remembered his situation. "I don't have time for this, so I'll let you off easy!" Naruto shouted, not even bothering to look at the other boy.

Muttering something about stuck-up arsehole tourists, he noticed he was nearing Kiba's house. True enough, the dog-obsessed boy was getting out his keys and opening the door to the driver's side.

"Kiba! Wait for me!" Naruto barked and before Kiba could finish blinking Naruto was next to him in the front seat, screaming at him to go.

"Wha—I—the other side was locked!" he voiced, confused, then he frowned. "Who said you could come into my car?"

"Less talking—more driving! We only have—ack! Three minutes!" Naruto was about to have a panic attack.

Kiba just laughed. "Three minutes is more than enough. Buckle up and don't say I didn't warn you!" Kiba's eye started twitching and Naruto suddenly realized this was more dangerous than detention.

"But, but you didn't warn meeee!" Naruto squawked as Kiba pulled out of the drive way and sped down the road like there was no tomorrow...

Naruto and Kiba did make it on time, although it involved almost crashing five times. Naruto rather shakily walked to his desk near the front and sat down in-between his two friends Shino and Shikamaru.

"Ugh… I think I'm gonna be sick…" he mumbled and rested his head on Shino's shoulder.

"Oi, what's with you?" Shikamaru greeted from his right.

"You drove to school with Kiba." Shino stated, unfazed at the weight on his shoulder. Naruto grumbled in reply.

"You just can't handle speed, wuss," Kiba interjected, taking a seat in front of Shikamaru. "Plus, if you need to throw up, this is science and the emergency safety shower is in the back of the lab."

Naruto opened his eyes and glared at Kiba. "Why you son of a—"

The bell rang, driving out the rest of Naruto's words.

"Ok, class time to—oh, we're missing two," Anko announced as she walked to her desk and pulled out her seating chart. "Hmm… Where's Choji?"

"He ate some bad meat yesterday. He told me to tell you that," Naruto explained, moving his head from the comfort of Shino's shoulder to face the teacher.

"Again? That's the fifth time this month! What are his parents feeding him?" Anko wondered, incredulously, tapping her chin.

"Not his parents. His dad," Shikamaru cut in.

Choji's dad had a reputation of being a daredevil when it came to food. Unfortunately, he always wanted to experiment with his son, like some twisted father-son bonding.

"What was it this time?" Anko asked, morbidly interested.

"Special pork-chop marinated in Inui juice(2) with purple rice pilaf," Shino elaborated, voice monotonous. He, Naruto, Shikamaru, and Kiba would know since they were all offered it at lunch.

"Purple rice? Inui juice? They're gonna kill each other one day… (sigh). Never mind, we can't waste time on this." Anko produced a huge stack of papers from her desk. "Your finals for the third trimester(3) are in two weeks, and by some of your last scores—" her eyes passed over Kiba, Shikamaru, and Naruto "—I'd say you all need as much time as you can get, maybe more. So, starting this week, we'll be reviewing. All the teachers—"

"Sorry I'm so late!" Hyuuga Hinata ran in and bowed quickly to the teacher.

Anko stopped her lecture and smiled. "It's ok; you called in advance. Take a seat."

"Oh… OK," Hinata blushed and bowed again before taking her usual seat next to Kiba, who blushed slightly in turn.

"As I was saying before…" and with that Anko droned on.

"Thank you, Shino." Hinata handed Shino a notebook.

"Oi, Hinata, I thought you were one of the smartest in class, so why do you need Shino's notes?" Kiba interrupted.

Hinata gasped and blushed even more. She looked over her shoulder at Naruto and then turned away. Naruto blinked. Did he just miss something?

"Hey, Hinata? Why were you late?" Naruto wondered.

Hinata dropped her pen just as she was taking it out from her bag. "Um, I—" she bit her lip when Anko interrupted: "Oi, you two, wanna share with the class?" The pair shook their heads and Anko frowned, "No more disrupting my lectures. The two of you stay after class and clean up this classroom."

Naruto sighed. Great, this was just what he needed… Yeah, right… He needed this as much as he needed a tooth pulled, or one of Jiraiya and Iruka's annoying lectures (Iruka lectured, Jiraiya just smirked at him triumphantly.). Hinata went to recover her lost pen and guiltily remembered she probably wouldn't make it to carryout her punishment…

The rest of the day passed uneventfully and slowly. As soon as the bell rang, Hinata mumbled an apology, fervently bowed, and then was off—leaving poor Naruto with a broom, a dust pan, and a classroom that still hadn't recovered from the science lab explosion in the back.

"Nyaah" Naruto cried, feeling sick, as he cast an eye at the green glow on the handle of one of the faucets(4).

"No, we are not helping you. Don't even ask," Shikamaru griped as he and Shino were about to walk out the door.

"Mou, that's not fair! It'll take forever now! That's it—"Naruto launched himself at Shikamaru, held on tightly, and cackled evilly, "I'll think of the most perverted thoughts and think of my memories of Jiraiya at full force. You know what will happen."

Shikamaru paled. "You wouldn't… " he moaned, almost fearfully.

"You know I will. I have no honour!" Naruto reminded.

"Fine! Fine! Just get off! And keep your thoughts to yourself!" Shikamaru answered, annoyed.

Naruto guffawed triumphantly. He turned to Shino.

"You know that won't work on me, I'm not a telepath like h-" Shino said, almost bored.

"Shh!" Naruto placed his hand over Shino's mouth. "We're the only ones who're supposed to know about that, remember? What if someone hears you?" he hissed, looking around. Shino rolled his eyes. "Plus, I know you have a project due tomorrow for your scholarship program. You go ahead." Shino looked at him blankly. "Think I didn't know about it? Go!" Naruto cheered and pushed him out of the doorway, "Ganbatte, Shino!"

"How come he can leave?" Shikamaru grumbled, "I have a busy schedule, too."

Naruto snorted. He highly doubted that. "You know why. C'mon, let's get to work."

Naruto and Shikamaru turned to the classroom and began to clean. After about three hours, the two limped outside, sore.

"Hinata owes us big time," Shikamaru commented, as they walked out the school's front gates.

"Yo." A voice greeted. The two turned to see Shino standing in the setting sun's light holding a bag of Manic's(5). "Hungry?"

"Shino, I love you," Naruto declared, as the three walked away from the school, taking a box of fries.

"I know and it shows," Shino answered, taking one of Naruto's fries. Shikamaru was content with the cheese burger.

"Hey, Shika," Shikamaru looked up at Naruto, "Wanna stay at my house for the next week? I heard your mom's back in town."

Shikamaru swallowed the last of the food in his mouth before responding: "Nah. I'm fine. I can't be afraid of some woman, even if she is my mother. She's still a girl."

"What he means is he doesn't want to be a burden." Shino translated, as they passed the diner where Naruto had run into that stuck-up guy.

"Well, you wouldn't, you should know that by now," Naruto responded, stopping and glaring up at Shikamaru. "Mou, you're so stubborn sometimes. It's ok, believe me, no one minds."

Shikamaru blushed at Naruto's closeness and pushed him out of the way. "Yeah, yeah," he spouted. Walking on, he scanned Shino, "Sometimes I think you're the one who can read minds."

Shino was silent.

The three of them were almost there, when they heard a car horn honk at them.

"Huh?" all three said at once and saw a sleek blue Mini-Cooper pull up to them. The window rolled down to reveal—

"Gaara! What're you doing here?" Naruto wondered, beaming at the other boy. He tilted his head to try and look in the car. "Are Temari and Kankuro here, too?"

"Of course," Temari replied from the back.

"Why're you here? Am I that irresistible?" Naruto teased, leaning onto the car door.

"Tch. Unlikely. You three are lost again, aren't you?" Shikamaru questioned.

Gaara nodded and glared over his shoulder. "Well…" he began.

--Flashback--

The Sand looked from their tickets to the screen.

"We got on the wrong flight! Again!" Temari realized looking form the ticket to the screen with the flight times. "We're at the wrong airport!"

"How long do you think it will be until the next flight to L.A.?" Kankuro interrogated.

"I dunno. I'll check," Temari answered and walked to a nearby flight attendant.

Gaara rolled his eyes. This was the second time this month. Leave it to his siblings to get them lost. He looked around. At least this place was—Temari ran back interrupting his thoughts.

"And?" Gaara prompted, raising an eyebrow.

"Next… flight… (huff)… two… weeks…"she gasped, leaning onto a nearby plastic chair.

"Nani!" Kankuro's eyes bulged, which Gaara found oddly amusing. "Why? Last time, it only took three days!"

"This is a small airport; they barely get flights as it is, remember?" Temari reminded, "And very, very rarely to big cities. So then I guess—"

"We're stuck. There's no helping it. Let's get our bags and find some place to stay. Stop wasting energy panicking," Gaara interjected, annoyed.

His siblings looked from him to each other. Temari pulled out her cell phone and Kankuro raced off to do his brother's bidding.

--End Flashback--

"Oh, stay at my house then!" Naruto gushed, smiling.

"Why not? We just put off our American tour for about two weeks anyway," Gaara agreed, then noticed the others, "Need a ride?"

The three shook their heads. "Gaara, my house is over there," Naruto informed, pointing to the large house next to the house they were in front of.

"Oh. Ok, see you there then," and Gaara and his siblings drove ahead.

"Anyway, Shika, my offer still stands," Naruto stated, as they walked up the sidewalk and Naruto rang the door bell.

"I'll think about it," Shikamaru truthfully replied.

Gaara and his siblings waited patiently with the three friends. When the door opened, Naruto's jaw dropped and his reply was lost, eyes blazing.

"It's you!"

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Translations:

ganbatte: do your best

(1) I got the idea of this from the fic, Twisted Fairytale, which I highly recommend. If you don't get it, or haven't read that fic, Jiraiya wants Naruto to cross-dress.

(2) Obvious reference to Teni Puri (I don't own it before you even start.).

(3) My high school is cut into trimesters. I'm assuming others are, too—so their school is set up like mine (Did I mention they're all in high school in this fic? Eheheh, oops.).

(4) There's a lab in the back of the science room and it has lots of faucets.

(5) This is my spoof on Sonic's, the name should be familiar to all of you who watch Sonic Underground (Or who did, that show got annoying after a while…). Manic is Sonic's brother…

Meh. I don't like this chapter. It feels too rushed to me. I like the second chapter a whole lot better. The title's awesome though, if any of you have seen Miho Obana's "Kodomo no Omocha" (the anime), this is one of the songs from it. I picked it because it's about wanting your love to be on the news or something like that. Don't worry it'll make sense later on. To all of you fellow Shino fangirls out there, I am not pairing Naruto and Shino together, sorry. They're going to be more like brothers than anything. I know some of you are shocked that Naruto and Shino can be best friends, but, if you think about it, the two would probably get along pretty well. I mean, opposites attract right? Oh, and I don't want Gaara angsty in this. No, no, no, oh dear sweet mochi, no. I love the Gaara from Family of Demons' (another fic I highly, highly recommend) attitude and, in later chapters, I'm going to try and incorporate that sarcastic wit into this. Hmm, maybe lime in later chapters, but with who? Model Neji? Award-winning actor Sasuke? Or popular lead singer Gaara? I still haven't decided. Oh, I hope you all can figure out what Choji and Hinata really do. I'll give you a hint. It's what you least expect. And no gutter-heads, it's not that! Choji's actually a—oops, gotta go!

Zaijian!

Reviews faster updates


	2. Casa de locos y tu tambien

Kalivax: Present! Sorry to you loyal fans out there. Updates have been seriously slow because of lack of time and major stress on my part-but hey! I got grounded so I'll be able to pick up from where I left off (hopefully). I've been going through some major stuff, a new exchange student from Japan is staying at a friend's house, I'm not really that close to said friend anymore, I got offered to go to China and be a student ambassador and all this other stuff... sigh... I need some major time to just slack off... man... but anyways I worked on this chapter during Spanish—it was fun writing it! Thanks to Tomomi, who was awesome and agreed to beta-read for a slacker like me! Oh by the way, the l33+ bunnies bit me while I wrote the disclaimer, but it wore off after awhile... mostly because everyone and their cousin know l33t-so I got rid of the spiffy l33t-ness…by the way, thankies for all the loverly reviews! It fueled my ego so much-I'll have a response section in the next chapter and I'll make sure it doesn't mess up! Hopefully...

Disclaimer: Psh. If I owned this series, I would be able to get Prince of Tennis stuff a lot easier because they're both in Shonen-Jump, and I would be able to visit my friend in Korea with the royalty money this show rakes in… Plus I'm lazy. The show wouldn't get very far…

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7 O'clock News

by: Kalivax

(the one and only multi-fandom shonen-ai shinobi)

Naruto picked at his breakfast, the cloudy day matching his sullen mood.

"I hate my life," he remarked, grouchily, and threw his spoon into his cereal. Shikamaru rolled his eyes and then with a resigned sigh responded: "It wasn't that bad... So you ran into that Neji guy, big deal. Hurry up and eat, I don't want to have to rely on Kiba's insane driving to get us to school. I've already had enough death scares, thank you very much."

Naruto hmph'd and still pouted.

"Are you still angry at the kimono thing? Get over it, it's not that bad," Shikamaru shrugged, "so a bunch of famous people saw you cross-dressing—"

"Not that bad! Shikamaru! All my male pride has gone down the drain!" Naruto fumed, his baby blue eyes grew icy, "If it wasn't for that stupid pervert, I would've-GRR! I hate him!"

Shikamaru fought to suppress a laugh. He had to admit his friend did act like a girl sometimes, and yesterday he really did fit the part. He could see why Naruto was so upset about being forcibly cross-dressed then introduced—that practically tore down his last defense that he was a guy.

----Flashback----

"It's you!" Naruto roared, thrusting an accusing finger at the blinking pure white-eyed bishonen known as Hyuuga Neji.

"It's me," Neji agreed, cocking an eyebrow, and then cast his gaze over to the people behind the ticked-off blond, "The Sand, what're you doing here? I thought you all were in L.A.?"

Gaara shrugged and jerked a thumb in Temari and Kankuro's direction.

"Don't blame me, ask the two 'travel agents' over there," Gaara commented, nonchalantly, then grew curious, "What's one of the most sought after male models doing in a place like this? I highly doubt you got lost, too."

Neji just moved out of the way and held the door open.

"You'd be surprised," he muttered almost enigmatically.

"Naa-chan! Are you there!" Jiraiya called out from second floor.

"Oh kami-sama, hide me," he demurred and hid behind the closest person, which happened to be Gaara.

"He still hasn't stopped making y—" Gaara began skeptically, when a blur of white swooped down and grabbed 'Naa-chan'.

"Let me go, you big pervert! IRRRRRRRRUUUUUUUKAAAAAAAA!" Naruto called, pounding his fists on Jiraiya's back as he took the both of them to his room.

Shikamaru and Shino exchanged glances. This was not good.

"We'd better go get him before Jiraiya does what I think he's going to do," Shikamaru muttered to Shino who nodded. Gaara and Neji followed both boys as they rushed up the stairs, hoping to make in time.

Running to the room furthest to the left, where anguished yells were heard, Shino picked the lock with almost too much ease and Shikamaru kicked the door open. Neji's jaw dropped.

Standing there in a woman's kimono, Naruto eyed them and bit his lip. Jiraiya was having too much fun tying Naruto's obi to notice the new arrivals.

"Jiraiya, hands off now, or else I'm calling her," Shino commanded as Jiraiya tucked the last part of the obi in.

"What can she do?" he returned, fishing for a camera and make-up through his messy room, "She's in London on an important business trip."

While the banter continued, Neji looked around, surprised by the amount of nude women on posters this man could fit in one room. It was almost mind-blowing.

"She could always take a helicopter for emergencies. It would take her a while, but the longer she waits, the more ticked off she'd be," Shikamaru added, coolly pulling out a cell phone.

Jiraiya stopped, and then pushed Naruto and all of them out of his room.

"Never mind then, Naa-chan," he laughed nervously, and Naruto was about to give his uncle a piece of his mind when Iruka called for him downstairs.

"But—" Naruto was about to run to his room when Jiraiya grabbed and whisked him downstairs, Naruto's best friends following.

"You should see Naruto now, he's so-" Iruka fought the urge to shoot himself when Jiraiya placed a beyond angry Naruto in front of them, "Jiraiya!"

Naruto was about to go strangle the nearest person when he noted the famous people in his kitchen.

"Uh, oh, shit," he blurted before Iruka could stop him. With a sour face, he bit on his lip as he heard Jiraiya chuckle behind them. "Sh-shut-up!" he growled at him.

"Naruto," Iruka began, warningly. He really didn't need this now. Why was life so cruel to him?

"Uh, I'm, uh, Uzumaki Naruto." He informed, averting his eyes to the now oh-so interesting floor.

Iruka felt sorry for him and cast a hateful glance at his cousin and decided to come to his nephew's rescue: "Uh, this is for the school play, right? You're performing the _Taming of the Shrew_ yes?"

Naruto looked up and nodded quickly, elbowing Shikamaru to agree. "Yeah, Shika here is the male lead, and they thought I'd be perfect for the female, hehe—go figure," he began when a rich tenor voice cut in: "I wonder why?"

Naruto's head snapped around to face the owner of the voice. Smirking at him was one of the most infamous actors in history—"Uchiha Sasuke. Charmed. Now pray tell why are you staring at me? Another gay fan?"

"Don't flatter yourself, I'm not that desperate. Besides, I can see why you have so many gay fans. You look like a woman yourself, so technically they're not gay," Naruto snapped back and gave a smile so fake it had Iruka cringe. Sasuke's eyes narrowed and he was about to wittily retort when Kakashi thumped him on the head.

"Stop flirting and let everybody else introduce themselves," he grumbled. Sasuke turned crimson and shot him a frosty glare. Kakashi ignored it and with a shrug smiled at Naruto: "Do you remember me, Naa-chan?"

Naruto's eyes lit up and he beamed bewitchingly. "I know you! You were here last time when that guy was harass—" a carefully calculated swap on his head by Iruka stopped his babbling.

"My, My, ahaha, he has quite an imagination," Iruka mumbled nervously, a blush evident, "Yes, this Kakashi—"

"—my rival!" a man with Beatle-esque hair cried, standing up.

And so introductions went in the same tangent. With Kakashi was the bubbly, happy-go-lucky, tween-movie(1) actress Haruno Sakura, who at side glances at Sasuke and Gaara seemed to be more interested in acting her age than acting cute and stubborn, the two words that described all her roles.

With Gai, Beatle-haired, who introduced himself as a "promoter of the powers of youth and beauty" (complete with poses), was the acclaimed and supposedly 'drop-dead gorgeous' male model Hyuuga Neji, who, just to tick Naruto off, kept smirking all-knowingly at him; the infamous action star and self-proclaimed "Fueler of the weak fires of Youth" Rock Lee, who eerily was dressed exactly like his manager in Green formal Chinese attire, blushing at Sakura, who seemed to not notice him.

Finally, there was a girl dressed in punk rock attire (personally, to Naruto it looked like she just raided a Hot Topic(2) store) that kept staring intently at Shikamaru, until she finally announced, recognition dawning on her: "Aha! I know you! You're that guy Ino's always calling! Do you remember me? I'm in the band Mamushi! I'm Tenten!"

Shino and Naruto both turned at the exact same moment to glance at their friend questioningly: What? Who was this "Ino"? Why haven't we heard of her before?

Shikamaru, for his part, ignored the stares and just shrugged. "Well, now you all know my name." He ignored Naruto's incessant nagging: "Who's Ino? Hey, Shika—who's Ino? She your girl? How come you never mentioned her? Seriously—who's Ino?"

Next to him Shino wisely interjected: "Aburame Shino."

Jiraiya bowed mockingly as he announced, "I am Jiraiya, beloved uncle to dear Naa-chan." To which Naruto and Shikamaru snorted. Iruka gestured to Gaara and his siblings who did a group shrug.

"Gaara of the Sand," he muttered, flatly.

Naruto pouted. "Oh come on, Gaara, try something more exciting—you're a rock star!" he emphasized his point with frantic arm waving, while the others just laughed at how dorky the blond was.

Temari thumped Shikamaru playfully in the arm as she walked past and dramatically said, "I'm the Sand's drummer, Temari, and this is my other brother, Kankuro, our base." Kankuro winked at Tenten and Sakura who had twin looks of "You wish" on their faces.

"Oi—Naruto! I need to hide out over here! My mom's furious I accidentally hit a tree(3)—what in the—" Kiba so brilliantly burst in through the front door. He looked around the room and dropped his bags: The room was full of infamous stars; Naruto was in a dress… Stars… Dress… Wait… then Naruto was… cross-dressing!

Kiba immediately let out a howl of laughter while commenting, "Bwahaha! Finally showing your true colors, eh! Haha! I always knew you were too wimpy to be straight! Wahaha!"

Naruto, trying very hard to not just run over and beat Kiba, informed with a twitchy eyebrow, "He's an idiot. Don't worry about him. He was even in a special-ed class."

"That was a flaw in the system!" Kiba yelled, laughter forgotten, and then noted Gaara, "Oh, you're here? Did you mess up the flights again, Kankuro?"

The other scowled and argued, "FYI, we're on paid vacation—and it's not my fault! Blame your stupid hick-town airport with rude people and bitchy flight attend—"

Temari decided to keep this conversation short. "Kiba… what did you do now? You were kicked out of the house last time we were here, too." Shaking her head, she noted the looks of confusion on most of the stars' faces at their lack of formality with each other…

----End flashback----

"To think, you have the most wanted newsmakers in your house—the press would have a field day," Shikamaru mused, stirring his cereal lazily, "—again. They were practically wetting themselves when Gaara came, but if they saw everyone in your house it'd be like the all reporter-version of Woodstock. Your lawn would never be the same."

Naruto chose to ignore him as he got up and grabbed a cereal bar from the counter, sulking still as he lazily ripped off the wrapper and chomped on it with malice, as if it was all the cereal bar's fault.

Shikamaru rolled his eyes and nonchalantly placed his bowl in the sink. He looked at the phone on the counter next to the box of cereal bars. It was a perky light aquamarine with little fish decals, smiling cheekily everywhere… Who knew such a cheery-looking device could result in the death of him?

With forced calm, he shakily walked closer to the phone, ignoring everything and everyone around him. His hands were trembling as he began to dial his home phone number when Shino suddenly interjected beside him: "Unless you like hearing your mom yelling at you for waking her up so early, I wouldn't."

Now, normal people would jump and back away, but Shikamaru was far from normal, so he just placed the phone down and gave his friend a cool stare, waiting expectantly for an answer.

Nothing.

"Damn it Shino, I can't read your mind remember? You keep fricking guarding your thoughts so you just might as well tell me why the dragon lady (4) is not over here screeching about how come I didn't tell her I stayed over; why I haven't gotten her those chocolates she sent me out for; why I haven't cleaned my room; why my grades are still too low; why I'm so low in class ran—" Shino knew the list of what Shikamaru's faults with his mom were and he wanted to get to school on time today so he spared him.

"I went over and got your things with my dad," he murmured and gestured to the freshly packed navy duffel bag nestled next to Naruto, who jumped when he noticed it (apparently he still wasn't used to people or objects popping up randomly).

"When did you—" Shikamaru began, but soon a thought entered his mind and he stopped in mid sentence, "Oh. I see. Thank your dad for me." He shuffled over to the bag, grabbing the cereal bar from Naruto, who still looked confused, and as he was walking away commented, "For someone who says he can't control the guard on his thoughts, that was pretty easy to read that one moment."

Shino didn't respond, instead he adjusted his glasses and got another cereal bar next to Naruto. "Did I miss something again?" he questioned the quiet boy next to him, "How do you keep Shika from reading your thoughts anyways, Shino?"

Silence and then:

"Are all these people going to school with us? Because if so, tell them to hurry up. I hate waiting."

It then dawned on Naruto that while he was still in pajamas, Shino was in a baggy dark blue shirt with cargo pants and flip-flops, backpack already hanging on his left shoulder.

"Crap! I gotta get ready for school! It's almost—gaaaah! It's 8:50!" Naruto cried and rushed off, knocking everything and everyone in his path down without a moment's hesitation.

Shino was still munching on the cereal bar when he heard someone scream and there was a loud THWACK coming from the upstairs corner bathroom to the left. With a shrug, he placed the wrapper in the nearby trash and greeted the two newcomers by tapping on the counter.

"Shino, what are you doing just standing there? Let's go, I want to stop by Hinata's," came the familiar whine of Kiba as he padded past, settling to sit at the table, "Let's go already! Where are Uzumaki and Nara?"

Shino studied him for a minute.

"Does Kankuro know you're wearing his jacket?" he pointed out, leaning against the counter, realizing it would be awhile.

The other newcomer hit Kiba on the head as he sat across from him. "No wonder I couldn't find it! You, bastard! I knew you were planning something when you suddenly took up rooming with me(5)!" Kankuro accused and gestured to his clothes, plain black baggy –shirt and regular jeans, "You idiot! We're supposed to_ not_ attract attention—do you remember what happened last time! I'm not even wearing my make-up! Take off my jacket!"

Kiba frowned and threw the cursed piece of clothing at his friend, revealing his black shirt and jeans. He would've been matching if not for the "Squirrels gone wild" message, complete with the furry animals in bikinis running around, on his shirt.

Kankuro raised a brow. "You have problems," he thought aloud, shaking his head, not noticing his siblings and the Gai troupe walking in.

"Naruto's running around upstairs panicking," Gaara reported, red hair tucked away in a messy blond wig, in—Shino noted with suspicion—Naruto's red sweater and jeans.

Temari, in a blue sundress with loose boots and a long length red-headed wig, looked over at Lee. "You two are begging for trouble if you don't disguise yourselves."

Tenten, in a polka-dotted mini-skirt and black top nodded as she braided her hair (which was quite a feat to do both at once). "I've been telling them that, but they won't listen," she grumbled, "Lee keeps insisting he's wearing normal clothes."

Neji, next to her in a tight shirt and black pants deadpanned, "I don't see what's wrong. I'm only wearing Vuitton(6)."

Lee nodded. "Yes, and I am only wearing my traditional training outfit." He tugged at his gi(7), which (no surprise) was green. "I wore it to school all the time back in Mainland."

Tenten felt the urge to hit the two. "One, it's not Mainland over here—it's just China. Two, you went to a martial arts academy. Three, Vuitton is hardly what common everyday people wear," she informed, tying her braids, "Now change both of you before I get Gai to choose your clothes."

Neji paled while Lee reminded: "He would agree with what I'm wearing!"

Tenten turned to the others as if to say, "Ya see what I have to deal with?" and Temari decided to come to her aid.

"If you two aren't in normal clothing by the time I'm done counting to ten, I'll have Gaara and Kankuro try out a new stage move on you two. Right, brothers?" Temari's threat was further illustrated by the maniacal looks, especially Gaara's face, and the rumors of The Sand having a shady past…

It was these reasons the two were quickly dashing up the stairs.

* * *

1) I have to admit, Sakura has grown on me, but I still see her as a tween-actress…that's not always a bad thing though, Ann Hathaway is a marvelous tween-actress…in my humble opinion… 

2) Before you ravenous Copyright bunnies chew me up: I don't own Hot Topic—or else they would be fully loaded with American McGee's Alice things… but alas I do not own that franchise either…

3) Now how can such a careful driver hit a tree? The world may never know…not! I'm surprised he isn't hurt at all! Kiba's crazy…hey! That rhymes!

4) Shikamaru loves his mom so much…and it shows…

5) Back fangirls, back! -waves fire around- Kiba and Kankuro are friends…not together, even thought that would be intresting…

6) Vuitton—is so freaking expensive and just for a wallet! Hnh, screw that, I go to China town for my goods!

7) I honestly for the life of me had a huge brain fart and forgot how to spell the word for those martial art suit-thingies

(Tomomi: It's right ;;)

(Kalivax: Ok, yay! -goes off to find Azuma Kazuma plushie-)

Meh…this chapter was too long. And I've been working on it for a year! (Ok, I just kept adding on and on) but now the hard part is over. I have three typing up and I'll post sometime soon. In it we see how school can twist people and the horror of fans. Also, what exactly happened last time to the Sand, how does Shikamaru know a rock star? Why isn't Hinata and Choji in this chapter again-nah, I kid, Choji's back but he's acting really weird and why is Hinata hiding? All this and more-till next time!

Review, 'cause it helps my ego and in turn my ego overrides my laziness and I finish writing!

p.s. the Title from the chapter is a song from my ill-fated Spanish class...


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